Fag Hags and Handbags

No Blog Go

2007-09-17T21:11:00.000-07:00

Okay, okay. This thing's getting real old real... slowly. Anyway, am thinking of just posting pics here once in a while, starting a 'real' site, starting another blog (something more focused. Food? Celebs? Right. because the Internet needs more of both). In the meantime...

Psychic Movie Reviewer: Ryan Gosling is/does a Doll

2007-08-22T14:16:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if it can beat the doc I posted on here about guys who love their sex dolls (like, love love), but here's the trailer for Lars and the Real Girl. It's about a guy (Gosling) who introduces his new girlfriend to his family. Only she's a life-sized doll. It looks funny. (Wow, I should really be a movie critic, right?) It comes out October 19.

Interweb: LOLVogue

2007-08-16T10:55:00.000-07:00

My new favourite site, Jezebel (the love child of Gawker and Feministing), has finallly come up with a concept to rival LOLCats, LOLGays -- even LOLHobos. LOLVogue. Oh, I guess it's right up there in the title. No surprise, then. Still. Funny. (Ohlordwhydon'tiputthisblogoutofitsmisery?)

Interweb: Is the New iMac Anorexic?

2007-08-09T11:13:00.000-07:00

Really? Never too thin? Don't let the girls over at all the Pro Ana sites know.

Video of the Day: Babymama's Revenge

2007-08-08T06:49:00.000-07:00

This nature video has been making the rounds. If only there was some cool revenge-type music over it instead of that understated couple's commentary. Watch the whole thing. There's a kick ass twist.

Video of the Day: Forbidden Love

2007-08-06T07:22:00.000-07:00

I read a while back that there are Great Dane/Chihuahua mixes in existence, and couldn't help but think of the... mechanics. Even though this video shows a dachshund and, technically, both dogs are male, I think it might go a little something like this...

Video of the Day: From the Mouths of Babes

2007-08-01T09:53:00.000-07:00

Care of sibling duo Tiny Masters of Today (their album 'Bang Bang Boom Cake' comes out sometime this month)

Interweb: Reader letters

2007-07-30T10:34:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Brock,

I'd like to enter my daughter in a beauty pageant, but she looks more like a little girl than a 30-something whore. Is there any way I can get her already-creepy portraits touched up so she resembles a manga character or Hummel figurine?

sincerely,
Concerned Parent

Dear Concerned Parent,

Yes. Go here.

regards,
Rhiannon Brock

Last Night's TV: I Hope We Can Get Married Someday

2007-07-30T07:24:00.000-07:00

...No I don't. I know this is the Internet and things and I can hop into my online time machine and forget I ever recommended anything Corey-related, but I don't play it like that. Baby. You know I don't.

In other words, The Two Coreys was paaainful. Even for me. Not 'Omigod this is so bad I'm going to force everyone I know to get drunk and watch it with me every week' bad, but 'Oh lordy they keep adding zingy sound effects to every scene even the one that's got Haim crying about his druggie past hey I think I hear a grip feeding him his lines' bad. The crying was sort of sad, but I couldn't help but feel that it was just something he learned on the set of Lucas. Actually, most of what he and Feldman said sounded as if it was left over from a failed TV pilot circa 1991. But even this odd inability to act naturally in front of the camera, this pathetic warning to today's child stars and stage parents, isn't enough to make the show compelling.

The worst part is both Haim and the director (assuming he's not a straw man) are Canadian, so I think we may all be funding it in some way through our tax dollars.

Video of the Day: Worst. Interview. Ever.

2007-07-26T08:35:00.000-07:00

Why am I not a fluff entertainment news reporter again? If this half wit can do it... Oh wait. She clearly can't. See if you can make it through this train wreck of an interview with Holly Hunter.

Psychic TV Reviewer: The Lost Boys

2007-07-24T07:57:00.000-07:00

What are you doing this Sunday? No you're not. You're watching The Two Coreys, potentially the biggest train wreck ever put on the small screen. Like something out of a prepubescent girl's fever dream, A&E is reuniting Corey Feldman and Corey Haim in this new reality show. You know things are screwy when Feldman comes off looking like the responsible one. I can't wait to see if that A&E exec took my advice and got the boys to walk around shirtless on a pony farm.

Extra! Extra! Possible Naked Firefighters!

2007-07-24T06:04:00.000-07:00

Just got word via Lady N and Ronny R that a fire swept part of St. Denis last night, taking down Continental (of the perfectly caramelized foie gras brulée) and L'Barouf (nooooo!). Apparently there is a silver lining -- outdoor showers have been set up for the firefighters. Oh why can't I have a blog intern aka a blogtern to send over there with a camera? And a release form for them to sign so I can add their pics to my 2008 'Uniformed Men in Action Calendar'?

Consumer Whore (and how!): Candy Man

2007-07-17T18:50:00.000-07:00

This guy totally stole my dream job.

A Good Reason To...

2007-07-17T07:16:00.000-07:00

cancel your subscription to Psychology Today ('The magazine for glorified guidance counselors!'). I wish I could make grand sweeping statements about history and human nature on the backs of a few vague nutjob statements made by my own colleagues. Sexual harassment isn't sexist because guys prefer casual sex? WTFOMGBBQ

Video of the Day: Guys and Dolls

2007-07-11T12:52:00.000-07:00

Want to watch something unquestionably creepy but can't make it to Fantasia? Check out this doc about guys living with their sex dolls as if they were real women. You know, plastic, silent, ever-fuckable women.

Psychic Movie Reviewer: Fantasia

2007-07-03T08:05:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: Have starred the ones I'm actually seeing (for now)
The fun begins this Thursday (themes seem to be eco-horror, Russian sci-fi and caped superheroes). Unlike other years, I am not currently in possession of a pocketful of VIP passes that allow us to get in free and skip the lines (but I'm trying, believe me). I've been plenty wrong before, but I predict that the following movies will kick ass. E-mail me or post a message if any of them interest you (you can check out the full schedule here)...

Flight of the Living Dead- Snakes on a Plane + Con Air
Offscreen- Danish actor goes crazy
Dasepo Naughty Girls- Grease 2 + some Japan-obsessed nerd's wet dream
Hatchet- Friday the 13th + Deliverance
Your Mommy Kills Animals- doc about animal rights extremists (America's number one domestic terr*rist threat)
Hell's Ground- Pakistani zombie movie
Return in Red- That X-Files episode with the weird planet alignment + The Andromeda Strain
Spiral- Happy Gilmore + One Hour Photo (all right, maybe I'm stretching on that one)
*S&Man- doc about exploitation horror filmmakers
Viva- N, you may like this one
Roommates- Suspiria + Mona Lisa Smile
Hazard- Japanese guy goes wild in New York
Assmonster- seems like a dirtier American Movie
*Right At Your Door- nuclear fall out movie with Rory Cochrane (Empire Records, Dazed and Confused, ugh, CSI)
Square Jaw Theatre- B and BGA, these superhero shorts are for you
KM 31- Mexican horror, yay!
893239- a series of Yakuza-themed shorts
Escandalos Productions & Volatile Works: Underground Film Collectives from Mexico and Quebec- the risk of experimental film seems to be off set by the number of zombie-related titles in this collection of shorts
Special- Heroes + The Good Girl, another one for you B and BGA
On Evil Grounds- crazy Austrian couple buy house, must survive even crazier couple
*A Bloody Aria- Korean Deliverance, suppoded to be one of the best of the fest
*End of the Line- Montreal horror that takes place in the metro, making it a must-see
Lloyd Kaufman Presents the Troma Show Varietease- he's crazy, troma movies are crazy, this sketch/film show will be crazy
Home Sick- American horror, yay!
*13 Beloved- forget what I said about that other one, this Thai thriller is supposed to be the best of the fest
Mulberry Street- rats turn New Yorkers into zombies
Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead- The Chicken Lady + oh Christ, I don't even know anymore
*The Backwoods- yet another shout out to Deliverance, only this one's got Gary Oldman and looks really, really good!
Trapped Ashes- like a bunch of episodes of Tales from the Crypt from the guy who directed Friday the 13th
Wristcutters- black comedy about suicide starring Patrick Fugit (Almost Famous) and Tom Waits! Sooo coooool!
*Nightmare Detective- what the title says. Gosh, everything looks good this year, doesn't it?
Rocket Science- coming-of-age drama from the guy who made the doc Spellbound, maybe a little too sweet for Fantasia...
Beijing Bubbles: Punk and Rock in China's Capitol- N, just go see it for the clothing
The Girl Next Door- not sure if they can keep this one tasteful, seeing as how it's based on one of the most horrific true crime stories ever, the murder of Sylvia Likens (the stroy's also being adapted story was also adapted into the higher profile An American Crime)
At the End of the Spectrum- Colombian horror, yay!
*Zoo- Bestiality doc (but no graphic stuff, perverts)
The Wizard of Gore- campy horror remake starring actual actors (Crispin Glover, Bijou Philips, uh... Kip Pardue)
Sun Scarred- Takashi Mike, motherfuckers! (there's also another flick of his showing, Zebraman, but, um, not so much)
Like a Virgin- Korean tranny kid coming-of-age movie (I know, I know- another one?)
*Murder Party- it just sounds fun, y'know?
Postal- I would go to this one just for the Q&A session with infamous director Uwe Boll
Borderland- more Mexican horror, yay!
Retribution- guy chasing killer may be the criminal himself. Yawn, right? But it's Kurosawa

So obviously I am crazy and cannot see all the movies I'd like to see without quitting my job (ha) and breaking the time-space continuum (it's sharp wit like that that keeps me employed). The *s are ones I really, really want to see. Plus I left some titles out that I kind of want to see, too. Then there's the yearly DJXL thing. Just no Ultraman marathons, please. I almost slit my wrists last year (ooh, dark).

Apologies

2007-07-02T13:23:00.000-07:00

Lack of posting can be blamed on Bell/BCE, stupid Montreal weather, and this jerk.

Happy Quebec Day

2007-06-24T07:44:00.000-07:00

Consumer Whore (and how!): Clothing Sale

2007-06-14T04:40:00.000-07:00

Video of the Day: Smiths Karaoke

2007-06-08T18:41:00.000-07:00

Hope everyone enjoys their* weekend. Try not to get your drink spiked by the legions of assholes invading the city this very minute to sit and watch fast cars passing them by. I swear, this city. One weekend it's a vegan/eco/pot luck activist conference, the next, guys in Chevettes think they're Jacques Villeneuve. Annnyway. Enjoy this fab video from the San Francisco MOMA. You'll be glad you did.

*I'm part of a movement that's in favour of the singular usage of 'their.'

Consumer Whore (and how!): Sitting Pretty

2007-06-07T08:03:00.001-07:00

For the record, B and I now officially own hot chairs (though just in silver, charcoal and orange).

Interweb: I Heart NA

2007-06-06T07:49:00.000-07:00

Check out Give Us Back New York, a tongue-in-cheek site demanding the city return to its'original' name: New Amsterdam (okay, Native tribes may have called it something different. Who can say?). I'm cool with it. Dutch people kick ass.

Consumer Whore (and how!): Knifey!

2007-06-05T18:28:00.001-07:00

I know I've always said that if you're going to get me a knife block, have it shaped like a human head, but this one from The Wireless Catalogue runs a pretty close second.

Extra! Extra! Pathetic Lawsuit of the Day!

2007-06-05T09:08:00.000-07:00

Canadian 'journalist' Rebecca Eckler claims her 2004 book Knocked Up was the (unacknowledged) inspiration for Judd Apatow's movie of the same name.

'Writing in Macleans magazine, Eckler said she is suing Judd Apatow, director of Knocked Up, and Universal Studios, the producer.

'The movie, like Eckler's book, is the story of a one-night stand, by a young woman under the influence of alcohol, that results in a pregnancy.

'Eckler said if the similarities ended there, she could let the matter go — but they continue, right down to the religion of the father (Jewish) and the career choice of the film's main character, Alison.

'"Both my book and the movie feature one night of passion and the nine months that follow. Fine. Whatever," she wrote. "But what got me was the fact that 'Alison' was an up-and-coming television reporter; in my book, I was an up-and-coming newspaper reporter."

She has a point, people. I mean, before her book, the human gestation period was thought to be at least two years. And nobody used the term 'knocked up,' only 'getting fozzied,' 'eating a watermelon' and 'getting hit with the ol' medicine ball.' Also, hers was the first Jew-gentile hook-up in history. Case closed!

Now check out this clip from the movie (though it might as well be one of Eckler's home movies)

Extra! Extra! The Lil'est Serial Killer!

2007-06-04T18:36:00.000-07:00

Sooo many things I should be writing about: last week's loft party, my trip to NY, the sad end of Pandora in Canada, this cool theory about Amelia Earhart ending up in a Japanese POW camp...

Instead, I'm posting a pic of India's own Bad Seed: eight-year-old Amarjeet Sada, who's accused of killing three other children, including two relatives.

And I quote:

“He said he took the child to the fields and hit it with a stone and killed it. Last year he killed his own eight-month-old sister,” says Inspector, Bihar Police, Shatrudhan.

“We have also some to know that Amarjeet had killed his uncle’s six-month-old daughter. He has been charged with murder,” adds Shatrudhan.

'Police say the boy smashed the heads of his victims with bricks & then tried to hide the bodies. They say that they are puzzled by the case and yet to find out the motive for the crime.'

Awwww. Isn't he precious?

(via World Of Wonder)

Video of the Day: 180420

2007-05-31T11:32:00.000-07:00

Two twins playing one guitar? That's just great. But when they play the theme song to Beverly Hills, 90210 (get it?), it's magical is what it is.

(via Gawker)

Video of the Day: Nancy Grace Gets Hers

2007-05-30T07:53:00.000-07:00

Remember Elizabeth Smart? The Utah teen who was kidnapped, brainwashed, sexually assaulted and then found alive nine months later? Well she went on Nancy Grace last year to support a bill that would register sex offenders. Only Grace wanted talk about the kidnapping and nothing else. Well, Smart is having none of it. (Seriously, this is news? This is an actual news program? Even if Smart had agreed to go on to talk about her abduction, Grace sounds like she's talking to a retarded six-year-old. Amy Poehler's impression may be dead on in SNL, but the real thing is way funnier)

Last Night's TV: American I...zzzzz

2007-05-24T11:04:00.001-07:00

I watched all season for this? Sure I may have been answering e-mails and checking out videos on YouTube the whole time the show was actually airing, but lordy last night's American Idol finale was boring. Even Tony Bennett couldn't save it. I doubt Alec Baldwin playing Tony Bennett could have saved it.

At the same time, while I didn't think I even cared about the outcome, but did find myself a bit disappointed when Jordin won (and not just 'cause she's an anti-abortionist). Can't wait for her first single about, uh, being an independent woman and, um, falling in love and stuff...

It's not all bad, though. I did enjoy today's article from delightful Chicago Sun-Times TV columnist Doug 'Youngblood' Elfman. Particularly this bit:

'More spectacularly, failed contestants Sanjaya (the awful one) and Phil (or, as my friend Eve calls him, bald "Bat Boy" from the Weekly World News) sang backup to Smokey Robinson on "Tears of a Clown" (1966).'

I'm just saying. (Incidentally, if you thought the Silence of the Lambs and Evil Dead musicals were a stretch, check out the one about Bat Boy)

I Heart Culture: Free Museum Day

2007-05-23T14:33:00.002-07:00

I think we all missed the last one (I recall more than a few 'Oh was that this weekend?'s), so why not get your asses out of the house and visit one or two free museums this Sunday? The free shuttle will likely be nonexistent due to the transit strike, but come on, were you really going to take it anyway?

Participants include the Fine Arts Museum, the Hotel Dieu Hospital Museum , Canadian Architecture Centre and the Biodome (but not the Insectarium or Botanical Gardens. Booo! Oh, and despite the illustration, you still have to pay for the Body Worlds exhibit at the Science Museum). You can check out the full list here. Something for everyone!

Of course, it'll probably be nice that day. Pray for rain. Wait, don't. Don't. Please. There are so few nice days in this damn city...

Video of the Day: Clark and Michael

2007-05-17T11:25:00.000-07:00

To continue my blog-length love letter to Michael Cera, here's a preview of their new Internet series. It looks like it's about them making a series. Or something. I don't care, they're funny, funny little boys. And nothing tickles me like a good actor acting like a bad actor. Also, jokes about Asians (obvs)!

Blog on Blog: Zombie Last Supper

2007-05-15T07:38:00.000-07:00

I've always said Jesus was the ultimate zombie, and this photoshopped Da Vinci proves it.

[via My Confined Space]

Consumer Whore (and how!): Cupcake Essentials

2007-05-14T07:40:00.000-07:00

In further news re my moving, I've been amassing only the essentials for a new living space. Hence this lovely cupcake holder, to display the many, many baked goods I'll be making for weekend picnics on the Mountain (and this year I've sworn to actually cross the street and start up a trail, something I haven't done for, oh, 10 years or so. Volcano or no, I *will* ascend!)

[pic care of the wonderful food blog Smitten Kitchen]

Interweb: Best of Montreal Craigslist

2007-05-10T09:07:00.000-07:00

I've been spending waaay too much time on Craigslist looking for a home for me, B and the pound puppy. Here are two recent gems:

Alaskan Clown Needs Short term Free (or nearly free) Housing

Clown from Alaska traveling to Montreal to perform in the Fringe Festival June 5-17. He is traveling with his Chihuahua Peaknuckle so he needs a dog friendly home for his 5 pound companion. John is a great guy. I can give you his email so you could talk to him yourself. He also has a website for his clowning. If you have space and live near a metro please consider giving a poor clown a chance.

[I'd say 'Only in Montreal' but this guy's not even Canadian. I have a shiny nickel for anyone willing to put him up. Or at least figure out if this is someone posting on behalf of 'John' or if he simply refers to himself in the third person.]

I don't care how much it costs. Just pool your money together and get me this next one as a housewarming gift.

Important Religious Collection - $4800
Collection of different Religious items.
Here are a few items, the list would be to long to enumerate.
More than 150 old Crucifix, more than 60 old Roseries, a Marguerite Bourgeois Relict,Jesus made of wax in a hay crib,Last Rights Kits,Pictures, Ciborium,Painting, Medals, Bibles, Candle holders, Stations of the Cross, Prie-Dieu, Stoups,etc...

Interweb: Dirty, Dirty Dinos

2007-05-01T19:52:00.000-07:00

How on Earth did I go this long without learning about pterodactyl porn (link NSFW)? Christian fundamentalists must eat this up.

Extra! Extra! Blood Runs in the Streets!

2007-05-01T17:08:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what disturbs me more: the cordoned off section of St. Laurent getting the CSI treatment this weekend, or the fact that B and I barely raised a brow while trudging through the 'crime scene' (a trail of loonie-sized blood droplets) an hour earlier. Ehh, the rain was washing the evidence down the gutter, anyway. Plus there was hardly enough blood for more than a paper cut or maybe a light stab wound from the emery board on a Swiss Army Knife. No biggie.

Video of the Day: Puppy Love

2007-04-26T21:27:00.000-07:00

I am in love. With the weinerdog puppy in this video. That I found on YouTube. Randomly. I could do without the baby talk, though.

Consumer Whore (and how!): Masky!

2007-04-26T18:56:00.000-07:00

I failed to mention in my last post that medieval masks are also on sale at the aforementioned Winners establishment. That is all.

Consumer Whore (and how!): Pointy!

2007-04-24T09:22:00.000-07:00

The Winners inside Alexis Nihon has a few Wüsthof Classic knives for sale. They're in the homewares section, just past the faux vintage weather vanes and badly painted salsa. I picked up the Cook's Knife for under $50 (all right, $49.95) when it usually goes for about $100. There are also a few Riedel wine glass for about $8 a pop, though The Bay has them for 25 percent off, which makes them even cheaper.

Extra! Extra! Free Cone Day!

2007-04-17T08:01:00.000-07:00

What's the one thing you can't help but crave while trudging through slush and hail? Ice cream! And if you make your way to Ben & Jerry's between noon and 8 p.m., you can get a cone for free! (All right, so there's usually some sort of fundraising tie-in, but nuts to that. Pralined nuts. And cookie dough. Damn I wish they still sold my favourite flavour, Festivus.)

Video of the Day: Baby Landlord

2007-04-16T12:12:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's my hormones, maybe it's my deep-seated suspicion of babies. This Will Ferrell vid makes me laugh.

RIP Kurt Vonnegut

2007-04-12T09:55:00.000-07:00

Nooooooooooooooo. No. No. No. This is why I've always refused to read his complete works. I knew this day was coming. I hope they find a trunk full of his unpublished novels and essays. He was 84.

Blog on Blog: Josh and the Easter Threesome

2007-04-12T07:42:00.000-07:00

I won't tell you what the posting is about, but I encourage you all to head over to One Burrito Too Many... to read about J-Blow's latest Easter-related sexcapades. Just as we all have our own way of mourning, each of us has a special tradition to help celebrate our lord and saviour's resurrection. No Creme Egg jokes, please.

I Heart Montreal: Apartment Listing Tips

2007-04-12T04:54:00.000-07:00

After much frustration, I simply must offer a few tips to anyone listing their apartment for rent on Craigslist. Please feel free to pass these along to friends.

1. Post pictures. It's the Internet, people, not the back of The Gazette. If you haven't got a digital camera, borrow one.

2. Post good pictures. You don't need to be Annie Leibowitz, but try to capture elements of the apartment that might actually be of interest. Like, say, a long shot of the bathroom instead of a close up of a toilet plunger. Or actual interior shots rather than snaps of the trees across the street. And keep that creepy-looking foreign exchange student out of the goddamned shot.

3. And hey, how about cleaning the fuck up? Try taking your drying clothes off the door before you let me in for a viewing. Or shove all your old pizza boxes from one corner to the other, if only for a second, when you photograph that snazzy 'European' living room.

4. Include relevant information. You aren't paying by the word -- in fact, you aren't paying anything at all -- so there's no reason to leave out important little details like the apartment's location, number of bedrooms, whether or not utilities are included, your contact info, etc.

5. Grow the fuck up. Answer your phone. Show up for the viewing on time. Whether you've got to drive to the place you're subletting or simply roll out of bed, leaving a prospective tenant out in the cold with a 'Duuude! I overslept!'-style excuse an hour later won't help you transfer that pesky lease.

6. Down with loose interpretations of 'The Plateau!' If you must, use 'Plateau adjacent'.

7. Find out if I'm a local before you try to bullshit me about how close St Laurent is to an apartment South East of Lafontaine Park.

8. This is Montreal. No one's renting your one-bedroom for $3500.

Am I missing anything?

Tonight's TV: Watch Letterman!

2007-04-10T17:55:00.000-07:00

Watch it! Andrew Bird is on, and he's going to be the best because he is super and cute and would be my boyfriend if only I'd seen him in concert last summer instead of going to London. Check him out in action. He's sooo awkward.

Extra! Extra! Racism Trumps Sexism!

2007-04-10T06:21:00.000-07:00

I don't really know who Don Imus is. I don't really care. But I can't help but notice that every story covering the controversy -- the radio host called some female basketball players 'nappy-headed hos' -- zeroes in on the racism. Only. A few sample article and op-ed heds:

'One Reason Why Racism Still Exists: Al Sharpton Vs Don Imus'
'Racism Is to Be Expected From Don Imus'
'Should Don Imus be fired for his racially charged comments?'
'Don Imus' Racial Insensitivy For Sale to Highest Bidder'
'Don Imus Sinks In Racial Blacklash Waters'

So what's wrong with that? Call me crazy, but while the comments were definitely racist, I think calling female athletes 'hos' is also sort of sexist. But the majority of the coverage doesn't even hint at this. Sigh.

Non-Psychic Movie Reviewer: Grindhouse

2007-04-09T18:18:00.000-07:00

Kick. Ass. Gross, funny, and full of hot, strong ladies. It's three hours long, so I recommend taking a bathroom break at the very beginning of the second movie, Tarantino's Death Proof. But whatever you do, don't skip out during the faux trailers. Here's a great one from Hostel filmmaker Eli Roth. Classic.

Working for the Long Weekend...

2007-04-04T11:06:00.000-07:00

Mine starts today. In my head. Who knows how long it will last? Wait... why did I come back to this hell hole of a city again? (FYI, both photos above are completely candid, taken by yours truly. Feel free to click on and enlarge each, if you're not feeling bad enough already)

I Heart Montreal: Least Surprising News Ever

2007-04-04T10:54:00.000-07:00

Okay, okay, so a fire is nothing to joke about. But seriously, if you've ever stopped into hemp accessory store Je L'ai on Duluth (near brunch resto extraordinaire Chez José), then it shouldn't be too hard to envision how the place may have gone up in flames. Let's just say employees' reflexes are far from cat like. Especially when the girl behind the counter is really, really into a Magic Eye poster.

Video of the Day: Oh the Irony!

2007-04-03T07:04:00.000-07:00

Alanis puts her days at You Can't Do That On Television! to good use in this Tori Amos-ified version of 'My Humps.'

Ipecac Brigade: Zucchini Apricot Marmalade Muffins

2007-03-30T05:38:00.000-07:00

Saved a few softening zucchinis (stir fry what now?) by making this recipe from Chez M, En Retard (warning: don't read food blogs before bedtime), whose writer adapted it from Tartine bakery in San Francisco.

The muffins turned out quite nicely, though they're a bit... adult for my tastes. Not in the sexy way, sadly, but in the not-quite-sweet enough way. I might add some nuts or dollops of fruit spread in the centres next time. Caution: if you're not a fan of marmalade, use a jam or spread you enjoy instead.

ingredients
2 cups flour
1 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup oil
1/2 cup orange marmalade or jam (I included some ginger stem spread)
2 cups grated zucchini (2-3 medium zucchinis -- peel if you don't want green bits)
Candied ginger, chopped (optional)

Preheat oven 375°. Whisk together flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt and cinnamon. in medium bowl. In another bowl, whisk together eggs and sugar. Whisk in the following the oil and marmalade and/or apricot jam.

Grate the zucchini using a medium to fine grater. Squeeze out the excess water (in a sieve or paper towel) and whisk into egg-sugar mixture.

Stir flour mixture into zucchini mixture just until combined. Seriously, overmixing is the number one faux pas in muffin making. Sprinkle some candied ginger and the sugar it comes in on top.

Scoop into a greased or paper-lined muffin pan.

Bake 25 to 30 minutes.

Video of the Day: Rubik the Amazing Cube

2007-03-29T18:15:00.000-07:00

This is just ridiculous. So ridiculous it would be perfect in an ironic new campaign for Rubik's Cube. If only we knew someone who worked there...

Extra! Extra! Women and Clothing Don't Mix!

2007-03-28T07:18:00.000-07:00

Oh good. Another clothed man-naked lady Vanity Fair cover. How novel, Leibovitz (advance apologies to a certain reader working over at a certain cable network).

Art Threat magazine weighs in (via feministing):

'The image isn't just striking because a woman appears at first take to be completely naked, with her back to the male gaze allowing no revealing features like a face or god forbid a personality to emerge, but because she is embracing the lead from the Sopranos, who stares back at the male gaze with the look of someone who is about to do violence to another. As he sits and asserts white male power articulated by stance and especially by relation to the disempowered woman, he also has one hand around her, disturbingly clutching her flesh so vigorously it could only be described as violent.'

Miss DJ Ogo rails against VF (in French) over on her blog, Culture + cultures. I of course will be profiling the recent birthday girl in an upcoming post and adding her blog to the rail. I can only understand about 1/10 of it, but she's so damned prolific.

Last Night's TV: Quebec Votes!

2007-03-27T22:08:00.000-07:00

Here I go, liveblogging the latest Quebec election...

9:15 Oh crap. I meant to go vote but fell asleep instead. And now I've missed Prison Break. Oh Wentworth, if only my voting would get you to notice me...

9:21 So the ADQ is up. Way up. Wait, who are they again? Oh, right. Well I like democracy, so it can't be that bad. And abolishing school boards seems natural seeing as there will be no English schools left in a few years anyway.

9:25 Mario's support for a two-tiered health care system is obviously a direct result from having the public system do that to his teeth.

9:30 The Green Party is mad up in my riding. Good. I was going to vote for them anyway. If I'd voted. Which I didn't. I have serious health problems, people! I need all the sleep I can get. My mind was a muddle, anyway. Had I gone in, I might have voted for the Marxist-Leninists. Or the Hooker Party.

9:38 Newsie Evan Solomon calls this a 'nail biter.' Sure thing, Evan. I hope I don't sleep through all this stress and excitement.

9:45 'It's really tight.' 'The tightest I've ever seen.' 'It's going to be tight, folks!' I haven't heard talk like this since the AVNs.

10:00 Is this show still on? I'm going to download an episode of Frisky Dingo, go to bed, then see how long I can without learning the election results. My prediction: 8 years.

Interweb: Best of Montreal Craigslist

2007-03-27T06:56:00.000-07:00

Ewwwwwww.

Slightly used life-sized doll
Blow -up doll. Brown hair, Blue eyes, 5'10", slender, great features. Was very expensive and don't want it to go to waste. Patch kit included.
Call JP for details

Yes, please do.

This has got to be a joke, right? Some sort of art experiment to see who'll actually respond? (Yes, I came out of blogtirement for this)

I Heart Montreal: Real Estate

2007-03-26T13:04:00.000-07:00

A feature in amNew York puts my whole apartment search into perspective:

"$1,100 small and perfect studio in the Meatpacking District," the ad read.

"Best corner in NY! The apartment does not get much light, but for the price, location and size it is a great deal! The perfect starter apartment or home office!"

Climbing the stairs of the second-floor walkup on a recent Thursday, two young women outfitted in animal prints and skinny jeans looked like they desperately wanted to be part of the neighborhood.

But once the door opened, any hope of chic Meatpacking living was dashed.

The description on Craigslist was accurate: It was about the size of a home office -- 100 square feet, according to the broker.

Within five days, the apartment had an application on it.'

The piece goes on to mention a midtown broker who deals in 300 square foot co-ops that go for up to $260,000 (or $1,850 to rent). Ouch.

On a more positive note, if you've got a tiny-but-cool apartment check out this year's Smallest Coolest Apartment Contest at Apartment Therapy.

Still Working...

2007-03-14T16:44:00.000-07:00

I just realized that today is this godforsaken blog's FIRST ANNIVERSARY! Can you believe it? 365 days and still no focus. I think I deserve another week to reacclimate myself...

Working for the Week...

2007-03-02T05:06:00.000-08:00

Off to the 'dos, suckers! Enjoy my time off by perusing the motherlode of new posts I put up this week. And the creepy, creepy photo above, featuring my long lost Brooklyn sister. I almost feel like I should put a black bar over her eyes.

When you're done, feel free to check out the video below, cursing me and B all the while.

Extra! Extra! Cute!

2007-03-01T11:49:00.000-08:00

Even the coldest robot hearts will melt at this story of baby orangutangs and tigers living and cuddling in harmony. All together now: Awwwww. (Actually, I've always wanted to track the occurrence of the television media's stand-by 'Cute Animal Stories,' especially the subset of 'Unlikely Friendships,' like when a dog raises lion cubs or whatever. When are they run? What is their purpose in the nightly news? Which less-adorable stories are being cut so they can be aired? Why not cuddly human features?)

Psychic Movie Reviewer: Black Snake What Now?

2007-03-01T07:32:00.000-08:00

It's beginning to look less and less like this 'po' religious black man cures nympho white trash' picture from the director of Hustle & Flow is a satire of old exploitation flicks. If that's truly the case, then thanks but I've already seen a bad movie about a guy keeping a woman chained up -- it's called Devil's Pond, stars Tara Reid and Kip Pardue and is hilarious. Ask and I'll lend it to you.

Interweb: Best of Craigslist

2007-02-28T11:56:00.000-08:00

Though most Montrealers have yet to catch on to this crazy little site called Craigslist, I regularly peruse sections like Missed Connections and Real Estate. I recently found this funny little post in Rants and Raves:

A cloudy mind..
It's been a very long day.
I'm stressed, lost, and sad...
What I really need is a cloudy mind.
But I'm sure I lost the phone number on a Feng shui attack a couple of months ago..
Really wish someone can help me out..

That's about as subtle as requesting a ski instructor in the middle of Vegas.

I also really enjoyed this post in the Men Seeking Women section:

do you want to marry an attractive young amarican - 18
my name is brent i live in colorado. i have always loved canada i just never had a reason to live there so if any weman wants to get married to a hottie and can provide bus fair let me no.

So what are you waiting for, ladies?

Video of the Day: Scissorhands Ballet

2007-02-28T11:09:00.000-08:00

Check out this cool promo for Edward Scissorhands: The Ballet, which can currently be seen at the Brooklyn Academy of Music. This looks even better than the Dracula ballet that was in Montreal last year!

Lazy Paparazzi: Model vs. Actress

2007-02-28T05:15:00.000-08:00

While having actresses take over the modeling industry certainly forces many more body shapes and sizes into the mix, it also raises some troubling questions (mainly, if actresses are expected to sell make-up will we see even fewer non-thin young white women on screen? Look to the BBC, Hollywood!).

But whatever. I just wanted an excuse to refer back to my two previous postings and to put up these pics of women in the same (kind of ugly -- that belt!) Oscar de la Renta dress: an emaciated model (whether the angle and lighting lend to that effect are besides the point -- we are being presented with a starving child in a purple drape) and actress Jessica Biel. She's certainly thin, but looks more like she just goes to the gym a lot than subsists on cigarettes, blow and canned corn. One question, though: sure Biel looks great, but what the hell qualified her to present an Oscar? 7th Heaven? The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake?

Extra! Extra! Runway Models Unhealthy!

2007-02-27T10:38:00.000-08:00

Choice excerpts from a recent New York Magazine piece titled The Unbearable Thinness of Being a Model (with actual quotes from actual models, not all of them lying through their teeth):

'These days, fashion people do not talk about models with awe. Instead, they speak of them with condescending affection, as if they were lovable circus folk. Again and again, I hear that they are “beautiful freaks,” “genetic anomalies”—girls born to be bone-thin, with giraffelike necks and the wide, pretty doll faces that are the latest visual sensation. But there is also pity for the models, who are, many people pointed out to me, basically high-school dropouts, teenagers from poor countries, whose careers last a very short time. They are infinitely replaceable. Although top girls can make up to $100,000 in a week of shows, the vast majority get nowhere near that; some of the more prominent designers pay the girls only in clothes.'

'“I come from a poor background,” [Natalia] Vodianova told the carefully vetted crowd of fashionistas and their critics... “I ate because I wanted to stay alive, and it never occurred to me to think of food in any other way.” In 2000, when she arrived in Paris at the age of 17, she discovered that her fellow models were obsessed with weight. “At first I kind of sneered, thinking that this would never affect me. But as I began working, I began paying attention to my body shape for the first time … Eating was secondary. But I found a lot of new friends who were living the same lifestyle, and things were far too exciting to worry about it.”

'At 19, Vodianova gave birth to a son and quickly became skinnier than ever, impressing the fashion world. At five-nine, she weighed only 106 pounds, her hair was thinning, she was anxious and depressed—and she was a runway star with her first major advertising contract. After a friend confronted her, she sought help and got healthier, adding on a few pounds. But when she got up to 112 pounds, her agent sat her down: Designers were complaining she wasn’t as thin as she used to be.“I defended myself, saying it was crazy to consider measurements like 33-27-34 to be normal."'

'[I]sn’t there something a little creepy about using teenage girls from poor countries to model gowns that get bought mainly by incredibly wealthy adult women?'

[The featured photo is from Madrid fashion week, meaning that the model has a BMI of at least 18 and is just the kind of fatty London and New York fashionistas can't tolerate]

Last Night's TV: Gayest. Oscars. Ever.

2007-02-26T09:18:00.000-08:00

…and it’s got nothing to do with Ellen. Just a few observations (Fun game: How many gay celebs, closeted and outed, graced the stage last night? The answer... may surprise you):

-Nicole Kidman is now so Botoxed, she is actually having trouble pronouncing words.
-Uh oh. Is Little Miss Sunshine going to clean up just ‘cause a bunch of assistants (the people who really fill in the Oscar ballots, for their bosses) have never seen an independent movie before and thought it was fresh and funny?
-Helen Mirren is the hottest lady present. Hands down.
-Yay! A Montrealer won for, um, best animated short. Yessss!
-Best dress: Kate Winslet.
-I really like Ellen’s red velvet tux. Does that mean I’m gay?
-Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt are clearly screwing.
-I like Gwyneth Paltrow’s dress. But how can she take herself seriously with her hair all on one side like assistant to the head of the prom committee?
-I’m not going to watch Dreamgirls now, am I? Boy does Beyonce look so obviously-not-happy for Jennifer Hudson. Ooh, sorry B, you get no ‘thank you.’ Jennifer Hudson’s giving all of hers to God, apparently. If God likes Dreamgirls, does that mean he’s gay?
-Screw models (not literally, s.v.p., they’ll crack). I can’t wait ‘til someone demands actresses have healthy BMIs. It’s funny, watching that Little Children clip, that this is America’s idea of a ‘fat’ actress playing a ‘fat’ character.
-Celine Dion? Seriously? It’s 11-freaking-o’clock. And what is this crap, 'I Knew I Loved You'? Can’t wait for her next singles: 'Heart Full of Love,' 'Love is Lovely' and 'I Love Love.' Send her back to Vegas. Now.
-Little Miss Sunshine had a screenplay? Really? I assumed the writer just pieced together some after school specials with the G-rated bits of a Todd Solondz movie. And Weekend at Bernie’s, natch.
-Did John Travolta just out himself? Or did the Academy do that for him by having him present with Queen Latifah?
-What a boring pro-America tribute. Apparently, 95 percent of the country is male and owns a gun. I did not know that.
-Hey P.S. Hoffman. Put down the blow and pick up a comb.
-Oh fuck. I thought I liked Forest Whitaker, then he had to go thanking God. I didn’t even know he was American until a few weeks ago (Whitaker, not God). Don’t worry Gosling, you’re young, you’ll get yours.
-Who is this grey-haired dolt playing host backstage? He makes Mose Persico look professional.
-Yay Scorsese! I’m not even his biggest fan, but what can I say? The Departed kept me entertained. Twice!
-Best Picture: uh… see above.

You can check out all the winners at imdb.com.

Working for the Weekend...

2007-02-23T18:23:00.000-08:00

To do:

-Check out some Highlights stuff
-Try to tune into the Oscars just in time for Best Actor (Ryan Gosling) and Best Picture (The Departed)
-Daydream about my upcoming vaycay to the 'dos (you know, Barbados. That's what me and some of the kids are calling it. Yeah, I hate me, too)

Extra! Extra! Crazy Feminist Ranting!

2007-02-22T21:45:00.000-08:00

Every so often I run into some poor schmoe who either derides feminists as hairy man-haters or simply can't understand why anyone would still be fighting for women's rights 'cause, hey, everybody's equal now. Not only do they and anyone who sides with them immediately lose any chance of playing with my sweater kittens, they are Just. Plain. Wrong.

There are a few notable pieces in the news right now to support my point, but a personal favourite is the story of women ski jumpers filing a complaint with the Canadian Human Rights Comission. Why? Well, as we all know, Vancouver is hosting the Olympics in 2010. And ski jumping is one of two Olympic events not open to women (the other is Nordic combined, which includes ski jumping). Why? Well here's a pretty reasonable explanation from the International Ski Federation (via Feministing). And I quote:

"Ski jumping is just too dangerous for women. Don't forget, [the landing] is like jumping down from, let's say, about two meters to the ground about a thousand times a year, which seems not to be appropriate for ladies from a medical point of view."

Ack, my fragile bones! As usual, this would be hilarious if it weren't so sad. And in 200-fucking-7. Of course, women weren't allowed to do long-distance running at one point because their uterus (uteri?) might slip out. And in the early 20th Century, the IOC considered doing away with all women's events. Still better than ancient Greece, I guess, where not only were women banned from competing in the Games, they could get killed for watching. (In happier news, the folks at Wimbledon have finally agreed to pay out the same prize money to female players. And it only took 123 years!)

In other news, the Jane Doe rapist is getting out of jail soon, after doing 20 years. He raped at least five women in the 1980s, climbing in through their balconies. But the Toronto police didn't put out a warning, deciding instead to wait for more 'bait' to help them catch the guy (leading to a successful lawsuit by Jane Doe, whose rape was and is repeatedly referred to as 'non-violent' by justice system officials).

The story here isn't so much this asshole's release (though he did attempt to rape a nurse while imprisoned and is a prime candidate for recidivism), it's that not much has improved in 20-something years. I just caught wind of this nice handy chart of rape statistics, ranked by country:

#1 South Africa: 1.19538 per 1,000 people
#2 Seychelles: 0.788294 per 1,000 people
#3 Australia: 0.777999 per 1,000 people
#4 Montserrat: 0.749384 per 1,000 people
#5 Canada: 0.733089 per 1,000 people
#6 Jamaica: 0.476608 per 1,000 people
#7 Zimbabwe: 0.457775 per 1,000 people
#8 Dominica: 0.34768 per 1,000 people
#9 United States: 0.301318 per 1,000 people

Of course, numbers can be skewed by underreporting (and contrary to popular myth, false rape claims are no higher than with any other violent crime), but still -- ahead of the U.S.? Jamaica? How depressing. And here I thought I had to worry about taking a tropical vacation. I hope Canada's rape conviction rate is better than it was in the 1980s -- about 4%.

Ipecac Brigade: Me Like-O Soup-O

2007-02-21T17:31:00.000-08:00

Haven't posted a recipe in a while, but this one's daaamn good, especially when it's cold outside. I came across it the other day in a French magazine and recognized it instantly as a delicious dish served to me, Lady N et al. last year by our lovely Colombian friends.

Mexican soup

2 tbsp vegetable oil
1 small onion, minced
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1 fresh jalapeno, minced (or be lazy and use a dab of hot sauce)
1 tbsp lime zest
1 tsp ground cumin
salt ‘n pepper
1 lb red-skinned potatoes, scrubbed and diced
4 C chicken broth
1/3 C+1 tbsp fresh lime juice
1 ½ lb shrimp, peeled and de-veined OR cooked chicken, shredded
¼ C + 2 tbsp fresh coriander, chopped
1 tomato, chopped
1 avocado, diced
½ C corn off the cob

1. Heat the first 7 ingredients in a big ol’ pot for about 5 minutes, until the onion is browned. Add the diced potatoes, cook for five more minutes. Add the broth and 1/3 C lime juice.
2. Bring to a boil. Lower the heat and cover for 15 minutes or until the taters are tender. At this point, if you want the shrimp soup, add the shrimp. Cook for about 2 minutes or until they’ve gone pink. Otherwise, just toss in ¼ C coriander and mix, the take off the heat.
3. Put the last 4 ingredients on a nice big plate, including the chicken if you’re using it (chef recommends!). Drizzle the last bit of lime juice over the ingredients. Serve up the soup and let each diner toss in the corn, tomato, remaining coriander, etc. Mmmm! You can also add cheese at the end, but it’s pretty good without.
4. Enjoy! Unless you're a self-hating model. In which case, cry while eating, post the video here, then go vomit it up you fat, fat pig.

Video of the Day: Gay Robot

2007-02-21T08:07:00.000-08:00

It is what it is. A show about a robot that had a Wine Cooler spilled on it while being constructed by a college professor.

Ipecac Brigade: Truth in Advertising

2007-02-19T17:53:00.000-08:00

Found these at the Dollar Store. Shouldn't there be a warning like this on most of their food products? And why do (does?) Thrills even exist anymore? Are they counting on every single sale being a joke, like 'Uh, these are so horrible. I'm going to get a pack and trick people into chewing them'?

RIP Ryan Larkin

2007-02-16T13:27:00.000-08:00

Not sure how I missed this, but filmmaker-turned-local panhandler Ryan Larkin died on Valentine's Day. He was 63 and suffering from brain cancer. What a shame. He was working again and (supposedly) cutting down on drinking and drugs. It was always kind of cool and odd to see an Oscar nominee sitting in the park or having a drink.

Working for the Weekend...

2007-02-16T04:20:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone's prepping for this weekend's birthday festivities. It shouldn't be hard to top last year's party, sponsored by BGA Productions and Mononucleosis.

I learned something very important from a model on Portfolio last night: 'It's important to always have something you're thinking about, so there's something going on in your eyes.' So true, ladies.

Now enjoy this cover of NWA's Straight Outta Compton as interpreted by Veruca Salt's

Happy VD!

2007-02-14T09:48:00.000-08:00

I hope you all spend time with someone you love, fondly remembering that fateful Chicago day.

Ipecac Brigade: Weight Watchers, c. 1974

2007-02-12T06:29:00.000-08:00

Head over to Candyboots to peruse a hilarious gallery of sick 1970s recipe cards, like the one below.

I'd comment, but let Candyboots do the talking. And I quote: 'Um, I guess this is a salad best enjoyed at the house of that one scary lady down the street who never leaves the house and talks to her knicknacks. I showed this card to a friend who said, "What the hell's in that bowl-- bong water?!"'Is that why the ceramic animals are so drawn to it? Is it their magical pond?'

Working for the Weekend...

2007-02-09T13:03:00.000-08:00

If you haven't booked a table for the High Lights Fest (Feb. 22 to March 4), get on it. I'm looking into the South African chef at Pullman, though I may be persuaded to check out some of the Slow Food menus. And hey, maybe this time we can actually get ourselves out of the house in time to, you know, make it to the all-nighter (which includes Plateau activities this year, with a shuttle bus to downtown and the Old Port).

Last Night's TV: Look Out, Le Château

2007-02-09T08:14:00.000-08:00

... here come your future faces! I hope y'all watched last night's premiere of Portfolio: Derriere L'Image (Thursdays at 7 p.m. on TQS). It's Quebec's answer to Canada's Next Top Model (which of course is Canada's answer to America's Next Top Model) -- but with boys, too!

Of course the real appeal isn't the cattiness, bad clothing or air of desperation -- it's our very own dandy extraordinaire BGA! Not sure how prominently he'll figure in the show, but he can be seen briefly in the opening credits, looking pensive while eyeing potential models, and lurking in the background at on-screen parties. So same old...

Even if you didn't catch the show, give BGA an early birthday present and tell him that you did. And that he looked fat.

(Francophobic fashionistas should check out the Fashion File Host Hunt airing on CBC at the same time)

Lazy Paparazzi: TrimSpa, Maybe?

2007-02-08T14:20:00.000-08:00

So Anna Nicole Smith has died mysteriously (well, mysteriously as of this posting). Not much to say about that that hasn't been said already, but the reaction to her death will help me figure out how the media's going to react when another useless/rich/'hot' blonde meets her untimeley (yet inevitable) end -- vagina-on-a-stick Paris Hilton.

Will Larry King be forced to scrap an in-depth political piece do an hour-long fluff profile the evening of her demise (as with Smith)?

How long before Conan cracks a joke (Kimmel will do it the night of, guaranteed, but Leno will wait a while)?

What will be the most laughable lie at her eulogy ('She was just... *sniff*... such a giver. She had a great heart. Like that time she and Niki made fun of black people at that party and called a guy a 'Chink,' it was just so, so real')?

I guess the main difference between the two is that Anna Nicole actually posed for Playboy, and no one has to pay to see Paris Hilton's cooter

Interweb: Wiki's Greatest Hits

2007-02-07T07:46:00.000-08:00

Occasionally something gets past the post Nazis over on Wikipedia just long enough for us all to have a laugh. Like the gem below (click to enlarge). And I quote:

Unflappable
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
it means like someone has like bingo wings and they have plastic surgery and then they get then chopped off and then they're like unflappable.'

Video of the Day: The D-Word

2007-02-06T18:21:00.000-08:00

As some of you may know, American journalist Molly Ivins died last week. She did the whole clever yet insightful political commentary thing before it was left to fake newsies like Jon Stewart. In the hilarious video above, she offers commentary on the strange and depressing sex toy laws of Texas, then offers up a kick ass punchline at the very end. Watch it!

(via Feministing)

Working for the Weekend...

2007-02-02T12:11:00.000-08:00

Test your male friends' sexuality by asking what they're doing this weekend. If they don't immediately reply: 'Superbowl!!! Drinking beers and eating wings with my bros, fuck yeah!!!' then they're totally gay.

I'll be playing in the Laurentians and eating brownies. I made the ones above out of my remaining Xmas choccies and promotional M&Ms.

Adventures in Media: Love Day

2007-02-01T07:02:00.000-08:00

Rumour has it this month's issue of Nightlife Magazine is hoooottttttt!!!!!!1 (though I've also heard the quality will be declining sharply starting in March). Get it wherever fine magazines are sold -- I'm sorry, wherever ad-filled freebies are distributed -- like 4 Freres, Laika, uh... Euro Deli? Anyway, I'm all for picking up a copy and 'avin' a laugh, but fortheloveofgod keep it away from children and the elderly.

Youc an also check out the piece online here.

Video of the Day: The Lizard Whisperer

2007-01-30T06:38:00.000-08:00

This girl is my hero -- she hypnotizes lizards then dresses them up in little dolly clothes. A-freaking-dorable, this one is. And such a breath of fresh air from all the childbot actors that usually haunt late night talk shows.

Ipecac Brigade: Les Trois Petits Bouchons

2007-01-29T19:51:00.000-08:00

Lady N and I checked out this adorrrable little place at 4669 St. Denis last weekend and were very pleased with our meal. The wine list is decent and in the $35-50 range, the hot and cold oysters are surprisingly good (especially since neither of us is a big fan of the shelly bastards, in general), and the duck confit avec salade tiede is excellent when it could so easily be boring and limp (am I right, ladies?).

My only caution -- the seared foie gras dessert. It comes with caramelized bananas and a square of deep fried bread. Big mistake after any dinner except a side salad, and even then, that slab of fatty goodness would be better off in a pool of quality balsamic.

Here's a review of the place that I have yet to actually read (though I've got no idea how they managed to make a meal for six cost under $300)

Lazy Paparazzi: A Very Special Vogue

2007-01-26T11:23:00.000-08:00

Is it just me or is Renée looking a little, um, gifted in this photo? And seriously, am I the only one who's dumbfounded whenever a fashion mag puts an obviously ugly shot on their cover (even if the person in it isn't attractive in real life, that's what hair, make-up, lighting, Photoshop, etc. are for)? Even an intern could have pointed out that Renée looks like she's come from having a cavity filled, half her face still frozen. Anyway.

Lazy Paparazzi: Hot Boy Blind Items!

2007-01-24T08:10:00.000-08:00

Ready for some juicy gossip about some rising male stars?

Which rock star hates interviews so much, sources say “he’s reached the point where he’d rather write something himself than have some reporter take his words and weave them into something he may not have meant”?

What accomplished singer/songwriter is such a rebel, he “doesn’t ask to be allowed to do his own thing, he just does it and dares anyone to try and tell him he can’t”?

What funny family man was the first Negro to star in a regular network TV series and remains “one of the most respected entertainers ever, and a very funny man”?

Can you guess? Can you?

All right. So these are lame and third-hand, from Mr. Phelps’ well-worn copy of Flip’s Groovy Guide to the Guys!. The answers are Jim Morrison, John Lennon and Bill Cosby, respectively. The thing was published in 1969, which means they got it out just in time since half the guys in it were killed/outed/involved in sex scandals before the mid-'70s.

Psychic Movie Reviewer: Oscar Edition

2007-01-23T07:53:00.000-08:00

You can check out the nominations here (I'll save you the trouble, though -- Babel, Volver, The Queen, The Departed, Little Miss Sunshine, Dreamgirls, blah), but the only category I care about is the one below, where my dark horse (second from the left ) is running. It seems like only yesterday he was going to high school on a cruise ship... Anyway, I said I'd skip the Oscars if he didn't get a nomination for Half Nelson. Now I'll only skip the first three hours.

Blog on Blog: Dandier and Dandier

2007-01-22T13:22:00.000-08:00

Check out the shiny new graphic (below) from Downtown Dandies. And here I thought BGA aka Vicomte didn't care about us anymore... *sniff* He informs me that one Mademoiselle Gina drew the pic for a mix CD cover. So... how long 'til the t-shirts?
Now see if you can find yourself (if you're cool, that is).

Ipecac Brigade: Choccies Rated

2007-01-22T04:02:00.000-08:00

I'm no Cathy comic-reading, hunky fireman calendar-owning chocolate lover, but was ineterested in Gourmet's milk chocolate taste test. You can find the results here. The top 5...

1. Bernard Castelain
2. Lindt Excellence
3. Green & Black Organic
4. Valrhona Nature & Chocolat
5. E. Guittard Orinoco

FYI, Godiva is nowhere to be found (though parent company Hershey's is on there -- bad rating, quel surprise). Personally, I tend to care more about the filling than the chocolate (and that's not some sort of sexy, elaborate metaphor).

And yes, that is a photo of a chocolate heart, from the adorable mortuary novelty shop Pushin' Daisies. Keep it in mind for February, lovers!

Working for the Weekend...

2007-01-19T17:57:00.000-08:00

I'm so over using words to express my heartfelt emotions.

I Heart Montreal: Just 3 Guyz

2007-01-19T08:41:00.000-08:00

I'm going to be lazy and just copy and past Ill Paré's send out for this. It's the jet lag, people, it affects me very deeply.

'This Friday, January 19, join resident DJs David Shaw, Chris Paré, and Davey Lähteenmaa for the christening of LOOSE JOINTS, a newly-born dance-stravaganza kidnapped from the infant ward of electronic disco and swaddled in the trappings of a beautiful 200 year-old mansion. With your help, we promise to tear the tight jeans off of downtown Montreal nightlife each and every week with extreme prejudice.'

'Cover is a paltry $5, so pull together your pocket change and indulge in the city's finest weekly disco buffet. It's lactose free.'

I dunno... at least two of those guys are so white they'd make a glass of milk jealous. Heyohhh!

Be there.

Extra! Extra! Local Filmmaker Makes Good!

2007-01-18T05:19:00.000-08:00

Check out this article from the Montreal Mirror about hot young indie filmmaker Karl Raudsepp-Hearne. I'd let him dissect the Freudian subtext in my mise en scene at 24 frames per second, if you know what I mean. And I think you do.

Lazy Paparazzi: I Want My Regular, Primetime TV

2007-01-17T05:34:00.000-08:00

So a gaggle of TV Critics has descended upon the Pasadena, CA Ritz-Carlton to complain about the food, temperature and tiny outdoor pool. For the sexiest bits of the press tour, check out Chicago Sun-Times critic Doug Elfman's blog.

A sample: 'Off topic, another reporter asks Sean [Stewart, son of Rod -- that's him in the photo with his co-stars from the upcoming show Sons of Hollywood, Randy Spelling and their lawyery agent friend] if women in Hollywood are too skinny. Yes, he says. So I ask him what the ideal weight window is for a woman.

“Obviously, not fat, of course,” he says. “I like a girl that’s skinny, but definitely not emancipated, like it looks like she’s skin and bones.”

'Yes, he says “emancipated,” not “emaciated.”'

I heard Stewart, Jr. also asked a lady reporter her name then told her he was going to get it tattooed on his body. But that's really neither here nor there.

Again, I'll be posting my own fabulous celebrity blind items and gossip sometime soon, all from a completely unrelated trip to California.

Ipecac Brigade: Ben's? Bah!

2007-01-16T06:56:00.000-08:00

Have been meaning to post this since the employees at Ben's restaurant went on strike, but now that the place has closed forever, I'd like to nip any mild pangs of nostalgia in the bud. Aww, you miss Ben's? Weawwy? What do you miss most? The creepy jerks serving you or the hot water and Wonderbread they tried to pass off as french onion soup? The only reason I didn't sneer with disgust every time I passed by was because of the Ink Spots photo in the window.

A 28-floor office tower is planned for the area, but I have a better idea -- turn the place into an upscale hipster diner with waitresses in rollerskates. Not too trashy or Disney, just clean and with good food and music. Somewhere nice and warm to go in the winter. A novel concept, I know.

Here's a flier listing the former employees' keraaazy demands. A chef? Utensils? Seniority? What a bunch of nutjobs.

Video of the Day: Spiders on Crack

2007-01-15T08:18:00.000-08:00

To make up for my lazy video postings, I'll be putting up a massive list of celeb blind items... soon...

Blog on Blog: One Burrito Too Many...

2007-01-07T17:34:00.000-08:00

You may have noticed that I've (finally) added a handy link to J-Blow's delightfully dirty blog, One Burrito Too Many... over there on the right. Click on it for all the latest news from San Francisco, including bits and pieces of our recent road trip with Madame Fruit Fly. The photo on the right is some completely random snap of a bunch of hot scenesters.

Video of the Day: Impossible is the Opposite of Possible

2007-01-07T14:39:00.000-08:00

Again, I'm barely blogging here, just turning this thing into one long love note to Michael Cera. Here he is parodying Aleksey Vayner's infamous UBS AG application video, Impossible is Nothing.

Video of the Day: Corey. Story. Allegory.

2007-01-03T23:13:00.000-08:00

I'm not going to pretend to be back blogging regularly, not when I'm out of here again next week, but I had to put up this video of Montreal's own Corey Haim (the better of the two Coreys). It's from quite a while ago, yet he's already defending himself and commenting on his downward spiral. It's a worth a look just to see him floating in the pool ('chillin' like a villain,' some in the know might say) and 'working' on his 'music,' all while drugged out of his mind.

For those of you who didn't get a squaling phone call from me about this when I found out, The Coreys are slated to co-star in a new show about two former child stars living together. I can't figure out if it'll be reality or a sitcom. I think they'd do best to stick with the former, even though Feldman was a totaly whiny bitch on The Surreal Life.

I hope they can get married someday.

Working for the Winter

2006-12-24T18:12:00.000-08:00

Ta ta, ladies and gents!

Off to traipse around San Francisco and Los Angeles (where, apparently, the likes of J-Blow come off looking like Ghandi).

For my own selfish reference, here are a few places I might check out:

San Francisco
Alcatraz
Art show I Think We'd Better Split Up
Vesuvio, voted as one of the world's top 10 coolest bars

Los Angeles
A cute place for brekkie
Mr. T's bowling
The Museum of TV & RadioFamily Guy exhibit
New Year's party on the Paramount New York backlot

Who knows what the New Year will bring? A lack of blogging, a revamped blog, same old same old? Happy December and all that...

Oh look. It's Big Baby Jesus. Little known fact: as an infant, jesus was 8 1/2 feet tall and weighed over 300 lbs.

Lazy Paparazzi: Degrassi Blind Item

2006-12-20T16:00:00.000-08:00

What free wheelin' Degrassi High bad boy is now working behind the scenes as an editor at a Canadian reality show? My sources say that despite my memories of him being creepy and having a lisp, he's grown up quite fine.

And it's not:

I always wanted to do one of these. Why, I'm a regular Ted Casablancas!

Consumer Whore (and how!): T-Blog

2006-12-20T08:37:00.000-08:00

File under: I can't believe they already made a shirt about it

(from Busted Tees)

Last Weekend: Total Sausage Fest

2006-12-19T08:40:00.000-08:00

Over one night of partying, I managed to escape this (shameless naked man posing for photos)...

only to come face to face with this (an all-you-can eat hipster hotdog buffet).

Had I not decided to call it a night, I surely would have ended up sticking loonies onto deserving sweaty navels at Club 281.